According to dictionary.com, gentleness is the quality of being kind, tender, or mild mannered. Another definition given is: softness of action or effect or lightness. How is gentleness related to music therapy? This blog post will focus on the aspects of gentleness as it relates to the field of music therapy.
Gentleness in music therapy involves approaching your practice from many different perspectives:
First, approach your practice from the client’s perspective. We must understand that the client may have gone through many difficult things. For example, perhaps they have had medication changes or haven’t been sleeping well recently. This can help us understand and interpret “maladaptive behaviors” (behaviors that prevent one from adapting or taking part in certain aspects of life) that we may see in our sessions. This may be frustrating, but these behaviors are responses and learned behaviors from previous experiences. When we take the perspective of our client and come in with the patience and ability to provide a safe environment for our client to learn and practice new ways of coping, it will lead to greater success and happiness in the future. This does not excuse behavior that is inappropriate or violent. This does not mean they are justified in hitting us or breaking things. It just means that when we are viewing our client from a gentler perspective, we recognize the therapeutic value of our work and incorporate it in a way that addresses our clients’ overall needs as well as their needs in the moment. During a session, this may mean ending an intervention when we see a client is dysregulated and offering them the ability to regulate whether it be through a calming song, squeezes or other preferred strategies. When we are “in the moment” with our clients (and actively giving the client the ability to be a part of the session) we are seeing the need and meeting the need.
Second, approach from your own perspective (as the clinician). Who else is going to look out for us? We teach our clients to advocate for themselves, shouldn’t we do the same as music therapists, interns, and students? The answer is YES! We should always advocate for ourselves. Gentleness towards ourselves looks like checking in with ourselves and being honest with how we are feeling. For example, if you work with a child who has autism and the child is dysregulated and hits you during a session, it’s important to check in with ourselves to process how we are feeling. We are all human and it can hurt when we are seemingly “punished” for trying to do something good for someone else. So when we are hit and/or feel unsafe in a session, it is okay to voice that frustration not only to ourselves but hopefully to a supervisor above us so we can work on strategies on how to help prevent feelings that may lead to resentment or burnout. If it is not possible to safely take a break, we can finish the session and debrief with the caretaker or parent after the session or right after the incident to ensure we are feeling safe. We can also create a plan to ensure that the client feels safe to communicate with us when they are dysregulated. While in the moment, our initial instincts or reaction might be to “take it personally” when there is a challenging incident in a session, but instead consider what feelings may be coming up. Following the session, these questions can be used as a guide to process: .
- What is your body telling you?
- What do you need to feel regulated?
- How can you approach the situation next time?
- How can we read the behavior of our clients?
There’s no point in setting up proactive strategies while you are reacting in the moment. First, take care of yourself to bring yourself back down to baseline so that you can help your client to do the same – then work on proactive strategies for yourself and your client next time! If the session doesn’t go the way you planned, remember, it’s not because you’re a bad therapist – it’s because you’re a growing therapist. You are honing your skills, and even the best therapists have challenging sessions. We are always adjusting and assessing, not only our client’s goals and objectives, but our clinical skills as well. We are imperfect and that is okay.
Lastly, I’d like to approach the concept of gentleness with music therapy as a profession. The profession of music therapy is a beautiful thing and if you are reading this, you no doubt have some sort of affection towards the study/field. Music therapy is an amazing therapeutic modality with many benefits and research proven techniques. That being said, music therapy is not a cure all. Additionally, compared to other professions, it is a relatively new field and the general public is still learning about the efficacy of music therapy. As a student, intern, and/or professional – we know the power that music therapy can have. We understand the unique power of music’s ability to influence the brain and processes that occur within the brain. We also understand that music therapy, even though there is much research, may not be the right approach for everyone. As a research supported profession, there is more work and study that must be done to help to complete the bigger picture. We understand that we may have to advocate for music therapy and may often get eye-rolls or be called “the music lady/guy/person”. As a professional it may be a challenge to be understood and it is natural to get annoyed or upset in these situations. We have, after all, dedicated ourselves to the pursuit of the betterment of mankind through this medium and to have it be misunderstood can be disheartening. In order to take a gentle approach, remind yourself of the good work that we do and the important impact that we make. When we do good work, we advocate for the profession by helping others “see,” experience and understand the impact on the clients we work with. The impact of music therapy is often enhanced when it is provided in conjunction with other therapies and positive influences in our clients’ lives. Recently in an interview, I was asked, “Is music therapy the best course of treatment for dementia patients?”. My answer was that in order to meet many of the needs for a patient that most often will require a cross disciplinary treatment plan. For example, a patient in a residential home may need medication for pain and as music therapists we can provide music that will enhance comfort and pain relief as the medicine does its work. Gentleness also means implementing best practices of the time and recognizing that we are learning and growing and contributing as our profession continues to develop.
So be gentle. The world is hard enough. There are things we cannot control. By taking the perspective of gentleness, we can find peace inside our work. We can bring peace to our clients and to ourselves. Through that, we can better serve our community, clients, ourselves, and the music therapy profession.
Peace, love, and gentleness,
Eric Amparo, Music Therapy Intern